Friday, March 12, 2010

That time thought I was worthy enough to give a little bit of advice to the gentlemenz...

Dear Manfolk,
Are you guys as clueless as some say? As a girl, I hear all sorts of things about how when interacting with you I must be obvious and direct because you guys aren't as complicated and tricky as I might think. But then again, I've been a victim of manipulative mindgames so what gives?
Well, it would be nice for me to be optimistic about something in life, at least for a day so this is for you - all you nice guys who aren't as complicated as we girls might assume. I know that I for one read into every little thing you do and don't do, I apologize for that by the way.
So since I'm probably not the only crazy chick person who feels similarly to the feelings and mindset I have then this is for you.

If you are a guy who likes playing games, you're a terrible person. I don't speak for all women but I know that many of us are this way because this is how we're wired, we're wired to want to trust someone and have protection and love. That's just the way it is and playing mind games takes advantage of the way we are, and maybe that way is annoying to you or you just don't understand it or think it's stupid but that's part of what makes a girl, a girl.
So you can screw off.

So again, I am going to say "we" to represent myself and at least one other female in the world because the odds are that one other female in the world feels this way, thus creating a "we" and if that's not true then I know Lillie has my back so that's a "we" too.
I'm starting out with five, we'll eventually add to that at a later date I'm sure.

If you have suggestions PLEASE please leave it in the comments or in my formspring, it's so hard trying to remember all these things I think about and realize. I know there are tons but when I sit down to try and get them all out I forget most of them.

1. The telephone: I don't know if guys do this but I know girls do. We wait for a text or phone call, like crazy little hooligans. We hear imaginary vibrating and thing it's you, or as soon as we get a text we wait a while to even look at it to make ourselves feel like we don't care if it's you or not. For me, a lot of the time it turns out not to be you. So sometimes even though we wait and check over and over, even after receiving your text we still wait a while to respond because we're not desperate, ok?

Which brings me to number two...
2. Texting initiation: we like it when you text first, simple as that. If you want a girl to know you're at least semi-interested in her, text her (or call if that's your thing). You can tell a joke or share something you just thought of or saw that you think she'll enjoy. Texting back soon after is also a really good sign, to us.

I know I know I know that is a double standard, all I can say is that as a girl we are more sensitive so we have to do something to protect ourselves, even something stupid and silly. Especially if we've been hurt before, by a guy not like you, one of those mind-gamers who are more talented than the Jonas Brothers are at indirectly getting young girls to shriek.

3. Facial hair: there's a facial hair movement. Most girls, at least the majority of girls I've talked to and heard from which is quite a lot enjoy facial hair. Some girls like a clean shaven man-dude but many of them don't.
Many of them like beards, not strange pedophile moustaches. My personal favorite is scruff. Ah, scruff. It's like a little manliness, in a subtle way but not in your face what's could be growing in your beard right now.

JGL I give you a B+

MGG I give you an A......for so, so many reasons.
Be still my heart.

4. We want you to think we're just the bees' knees all around, even with our flaws.

(We'd also love to make you want to or actually do this)

5. Take charge: There are few things sexier than a man who knows what he wants, this can mean knowing what he wants to do in life or making the first romantic move, or holding the door open for us (chivalry is not dead), or being completely honest about how you feel (unless it's something that we just don't need to know) like telling us we look beautiful if we happen to look especially pretty at some time - all of these things.
Because men, you were made the way you are because you are the leaders, you are the stronger and the taller and the tougher, why else would you be like that? So you can sit back and wait for girls and other people to make decisions for you?

To close, here's a little secret: sometimes when you're in a group hanging out wherever a girl will randomly go off somewhere to see if maybe you'll follow her, or care enough to find out why she decided to go to the other part of the store without saying anything.
This is one of the many things we use to see if you like us without setting ourselves up for painful rejection.


Lillian said...

This Lillie/Lillian certainly has your back!

I wish I could send this to every boy I know, or will know.

chelsea said...

Oh thank you! In your opinion is there anything I should add for part two? I have to be missing stuff...